Money and Babies...should the two ever meet?

Money is something that is talked about in religion, politics and among those who want kids...and don't have them. To be blunt, it often times it comes down to the money when a decision is made (to move forward with a surrogacy) on any or all of the following; agency services, clinic used, what "optional" testing is done, who is chosen to donate eggs, who is chosen to be the surrogate and who the lawyers are. Even if money isn't a huge issue for the Intended Parents, no one wants to feel that they are being taken advantage of. No one is suggesting that people should not compare the costs, however, often times you get what you pay for (or worse yet, NOT). Before prices perhaps, as far as the professionals are concerned, services and reputations need to be compared. As far as egg donors go, before looking at her "cost," see if she has all the qualities that you are looking for in the genetic make-up of your potential offspring. When you are choosing a woman to carry your baby, perhaps you first need to see if she is someone you feel confident can build a mutual relationship with based on honesty and trust (Not on how much her base fee is).

But let’s talk about that money issue. First, no matter how much money we are talking about, all funds pertaining to the surrogacy should be deposited into an escrow account! This escrow agent would be responsible for cutting the checks directly to the surrogate for items such as the start of medication fee, transfer fees and any monthly fees. Also, any monetary reimbursements that are mentioned in the contract which can include maternity clothing, travel expenses, child care and housekeeping services. No matter what the financial issue, the surrogate would be instructed to contact the escrow agent for any and all questions and requests regarding reimbursement. If the escrow agent then has a question regarding the request, it is then his or her job to either discuss it with the agency or directly contact the IP's. This keeps a nice buffer between the IPs and the GC. Having the money handled in this manner allows the IP's to concentrate on the pregnancy, the person carrying their baby, and the relationship in general and not the money. It should always be in the back of any responsible person's mind who needs to keep track of the budget, however, when it has all been deposited into an account up front then it’s easier for all involved to relax and enjoy their surrogacy journey. 

Sharon Lamothe, Director of Pacific Northwest Surrogacy, has firsthand knowledge of how this can go both right and very wrong:  “I have to admit that during my first surrogacy I had NO ESCROW AGENT.....Oh My! But I also have to admit that we had no financial issues. At least none that I really remember. I do recall thinking I was over paid once and having that argument over the phone 6 months pregnant with twins was not appreciated by my IF. Needless to say, I was wrong. I have to clarify that the people I had agreed to carry for were not complete strangers and therefore we already had a relationship based on trust. I trusted that they were going to do what they said they would do (it was all clearly written in the contract) and I felt that they trusted me well enough to be true to my word. No one in 1998 even suggested an escrow agent.

Then my second surrogacy (again with twins, due in 2005) was with a couple that I did not know as well so we all agreed to deposit the surrogacy money with their attorney in CA. I have to say that the office that held the escrow had a great system which included cutting checks one day of the week and had guidelines on when to submit for reimbursements via fax. The only issue I had that really upset me was that for an entire year after the twins were born, the hospital was not paid $1,400 for the anesthesia used during the C-section. (Ok, raise your hand if you EVER had or heard of having a C-section without anesthesia ???) Because the escrow agent/ attorney only held money for me and my surrogacy related bills, funds for any other bills such as hospital and other medical costs were not available (something to keep an eye on when negotiating the legal agreement, for sure!!). I continued to get threats and bills from the hospital which I quickly forwarded to my IP's. That $1,400 really damaged the relationship between myself and my IP's. It took well past the twins 1st birthday to have this issue resolved. (BTW the resolution was them just paying the hospital the full amount directly...something that could have been done months before!)”  

So, this brings us to our second point in the long, drawn out subject of money and babies...surrogacy and egg donation, along with all the professionals involved, cost MONEY and this all happens before the baby/babies are born. (and please don't let the word "donation" fool you) It's after the birth that your child continues to cost you!

Intended Parents: Please make sure that you have enough money in your account to cover all the costs, potential or otherwise. Please remember that at all times this pregnancy is YOURS and not your surrogates. Please take notice when your surrogate is sending you (or your escrow agent) an OBGYN, anesthesia and other medical bills pertaining to your baby that it is your bill no matter whose name is on it. And please remember that when your surrogate has just gone through labor or an operation to deliver YOUR baby, it is always appropriate (but not expected!) to send flowers, a token of your appreciation and even a heartfelt card with a gift certificate in it, no matter how much money this process costs, because this is the woman who gave YOU the gift that will keep on giving, the gift of life.

We’d love to have a free consultation with you and talk about how escrow is beneficial to you and your surrogacy journey.